You would think that if you’re heading someplace to ride a mountain coaster, you’d be heading into the mountains, right?

Not so fast. Alberta (Canada) has its first mountain coaster and it’s not even close to a mountain. This much is obvious as you drive to the place.

Yeah, not exactly the kind of terrain you’d expect to find a mountain coaster in, let alone a ski resort… which this coaster is located in. Perhaps the GPS has lost its mind?

Then you see this:

You actually pass the entrance to the coaster on the way, but the parking lot is a bit further up the road. You’ll also need to swap your online ride voucher for a wristband, so your first stop will be this pair of buildings next to the edge of the canyon that gives the coaster its name.

Once you’re banded, hit the trail for a leisurely walk down a path to the loading area. As of this writing, the coaster had just opened a few days before, so orange plastic fencing and other holdovers from the construction site are still around. No matter, though, there’s a new coaster to ride!

Full disclosure: I’m not expecting much. I mean, there’s no mountain. The canyon is pretty deep, but you aren’t going to get anywhere near the kind of vertical distance you’d get from the side of a mountain. I expected the ride to be short and slow and relatively uneventful, even though it’s a relatively rare single-rail design (dual-rail mountain coasters are much more common). The website lists the track length as a respectable 1345m (4413 ft), which is almost as long as The Pipe coaster at Revelstoke, but the vertical distance covered is just half of The Pipe’s, so it’s probably going to be a lazy, meandering scenic ride. But then I saw this:

This is a loooooooooong section of track that brings you back up out of the canyon once you’ve ridden down to the bottom. So: if this much track is taken up with the lift hill, then that means the downhill portion is much, much shorter than I thought, but it still has more than 400ft of vertical distance to cover. OK, this just got interesting.

The sleds have tall backrests, something that’s probably necessary during that long climb back to the top. Also, there’s a hook on the front that will attach to the mechanism that drags the carts up that hill. Lastly, and I can’t stress this enough: padding. Not just for your rear end, but for your hips as well! The one downfall of single-rail mountain coasters are the lateral forces on the turns. When hip bones meet hard plastic sled sides, it’s not much fun. The padding on these was a welcome sight, indeed! The sleds are comfy, other than the footwells. They are probably fine for most folks, but for someone like me with large feet, they were too narrow to actually get my heels into fully. That doesn't affect ride safety at all, but it does affect rider comfort.

Right at the start, there’s a billboard showing you what to do and what not to do. The main thing, according to the attendant who regulates the dispatch, is to not stop at any time. I asked why someone would want to stop and he said, “to take a selfie.”

Oh, FFS. People, please. Ride the ride. You can selfie on the trip back up to the top. Or even better, not at all!

Once you’re off and rolling, the track makes a left-hand turn and picks up some speed. There’s a right-hand turn at the bottom of this first ramp and everything beyond that is a complete mystery, as none of the coaster’s layout can be seen from anywhere you might be before you ride. Nice!

Rounding that right turn, you’re already approaching maximum speed (the cars are regulated with speed governors to prevent them from going faster than 43kph (26mph), standard for this type of coaster) and the first of many drops is staring you in the face. Only this one has humps.

Yep, that’s as fun as it looks like it would be. Right at the bottom is a turn, which is how this ride achieves big thrills in a short layout. If Revelstoke’s coaster is all about sweeping views, long straightaways, and a long run time, Canyon Coaster is about rapid-fire maneuvers, blind corners, and a genuine out-of-control feeling. It’s short, but it delivers. At about the halfway point, there’s a shed for some reason.

As you can probably tell, there’s a pretty decent drop just past the shed, and the visuals of the shed there in the woods with disappearing track right after it is almost spooky. If Canyon Ski Resort runs the ride into the fall, this would make a great stage for some Hallowe’en spooky stuff! After the drop and a left turn, you’re faced with a bunch of signs reminding you to keep your distance from other riders in front of you, plus reminders on how to slow down and accelerate.

…and any mountain coaster veteran will tell you, the more signs there are, the crazier things are about to get. And this is no exception. You’re already going close to top speed, when the woods give way to a clearing, sunlight hits your face, and the track makes a hard right turn and just dives down the side of the canyon. This is the part where you really appreciate the padding in the sled, because you are going to be riding the left side of that sled pretty hard all the way around this turn.

What follows is a series of rapid-fire turns, zig-zags, and drops that work the speed governors pretty hard. It’s crazy fun.

At the bottom, there’s a river and some brakes. It’s a lot of ground to cover from the top to here and if you do the whole thing without touching the brake handle (which is what you should always do!), you’re down to the bottom in 96 seconds or so. Then you get a loooooooooong (9 minutes!) climb back up out of the canyon on the cable lift. It’s a nice, relaxing ride.

Canyon Coaster is a fun ride and worth seeking out if you’re in the Calgary or Edmonton area (Red Deer is about halfway between the two cities). Book your ticket ahead of time, though, as it can (and does) sell out on busy days. Until then, have a virtual ride on your screen.